Wherein I pit Monday against Tuesday

OK so all of you are reading this and saying, yeah right what the hell Olivia this is a totally unfair competition how can you even debate this at all and I am like hey hey hey wait a minute this is my blog and I will be in charge of stuff and just listen for a minute. I understand all the common mythology of case of the Mondays and all that but would like to posit that the low expectations of the start of the work week actually set everyone up to have a better Monday than Tuesday.

Monday at least you are like OK I have a job so that's good. I will get up and the sun is shining and it is a reasonable temperature and maybe someone emailed me I will look at my computer. I forgive myself rapidly for laziness (dirty sandals, zombie hair) because, well, it’s MONDAY.

Then Tuesday rolls around and you are all what the fuck I already did this whole same thing yesterday. Why is NPR broadcasting static. Why is it already 8am and Lord Jesus no this dress I was going to wear is an absolute obscenity. Where is the cereal. Oh yeah.

Monday when you get to work you can be like oh hey yeah how was your weekend oh good I’m glad to hear it nice whereas Tuesday is all oh yeah right how was your… dinner last night I am an adult I would never eat hummus and frozen yogurt as a meal. What are you referring to.

Originally published over at A Thing of Today.